Brushes of Fame

A revelation just hit me: I've met quite a fair share of celebrities in my 21 years on Earth ('met' in the loosest sense of the word). If you don't know me, I may try to hide the fact that any disgustingly gossipy piece of information about the entertainment industry will most likely be regurgitated by yours truly. It'll take a full-blown panicked all-nighter to memorize a pile of notecards about the entire history of communication in the modern world. But hand me an issue of People magazine and I can quote it verbatim cover to cover one week later. Yes, this is as useless as it sounds. I would much rather be able to beat your arse (isn't British slang so much more fun?) at Halo but there's the small matter of never having owned a game console.

For kicks and giggles, I'm jotting down who I've met or seen and would die if I was ever in the same room.

*Met (as in actually spoke to):

• Orlando Bloom - as evidenced by my photo above (yes, I was thisclose). Please excuse his 'stache. It was for his debut on London's broadway stage in the summer of 2007 for In Celebration. What a skinny skinny man, my entire high school career was spent pining over his lovely fair Elvin self in LOTR and once presented with the real deal, all I wanted to do was sit him down for a big steak dinner. EAT! Supermodel girlfriends be damned.

• Gavin DeGraw - lovely winning smile that just lights up his boyish face. The man of many hats which in turn made me quite giddy when he complimented mine. And signed it with a flourish which alas has faded over the years. Might have snuck in an extended hug. =)

• Janelle Monae - at Bumbershoot 2009, she walked in right next to me in a sharp white suit and her hair flung into her trademark pompadour. My brilliant witty self said "hi, you're Janelle Monae" (you know, in case she might have forgotten). She beamed, called me 'sweetheart' and asked if I'll come see her show. Um. YES. She's got vocal cords! And paints on stage! And throws said painting into crowds! That's 10 cool points.

• Tyler Hilton - sheepish to say that I attended the One Tree Hill concert tour, I've seen maybe 5 minutes of that show and it's premise is soapier than a bathtub full of bubbles. But he's adorable & made a killer Elvis in Walk the Line.

• Sean Patrick Thomas -remember that dude who taught Julia Stiles what was up in Save the Last Dance? Came into my studio for an interview promoting his stint as Othello in a local theater. Totally star-struck and promptly put foot in mouth.

• Tristan Prettyman - not mainstream but a fab. singer who once held the title of "Jason Mraz's girlfriend."

• Missy Higgins - why is she not popular yet? Why? She rocks the piano and has cute short hair, all the elements of a star! (okay, maybe not all).

• Mae - Wikipedia tells me their name stands for "Multi-sensory Aesthetic Experience." Um, if you insist. I have no idea who I met and their members keep rotating but perfectly nice gents.

*Seen (in real breathing flesh, concerts aside):

• Will Smith/Rosario Dawson - yes, that photo on the right was also taken by moi. I was just dilly dallying by the Spanish Steps in Rome with a classmate when we saw a hoard of paparazzo. We flipped our hair and stuck up our noses dismissing it for Italian reality stars that we've probably never heard of. Until I caught a glimpse of the Fresh Prince himself. The world stopped and I snapped a few pics one step down from them. Promoting 'Seven Pounds,' and the encounter wasn't terribly interesting.

• Kelly Osbourne - Played Mama Morton in Chicago in London. Nothing to complain about but the movie > play.

• One of them Madden brothers - He had a lot of tattoos and I thought he was addled in the brain for trying to crowd-surf in a room full of teenagers. Shoved right past me, harrumph.

I'm bored now and I'm sure your eyes glazed over somewhere around Gavin DeGraw. It's all gravy. I'd trade all of them for James MacAvoy, Edward Norton and Jensen Ackles (look him up).

My blog needs a facelift, botox and tummy tucks i.e. new fresh template, wittier commentary and followers who didn't stop reading back in April. In the words of Tim Gunn: "make it work!"